On Cyber Bullying as a Social Phenomenon

Reprint of my article published by kidzmet.com on Aug. 21st

Our society has changed a great deal over the last fifty years. Technology has increased our ability to communicate with each other. The world has gone wireless and the average human being today carries in his or her pocket more communication potential than that possessed by any mid-Twentieth Century government office.

It is not surprising that this vast network of communication has a great deal of influence on our children. The continuous adoption of new technologies has become a social game-changer. Lifestyles, and modes of social interaction are in a constant state of flux. These new developments also cause a number of new problems, not the least of which is a loss of social skills. Social skills are an art form. An analogy can be made to the art of painting. At one time, it was quite beneficial to be able to paint a recognizable reproduction of a real-life scene. Then along comes the camera, making it possible to reproduce an image without having to pick up a brush. The camera reduced the necessity of realistic painting, and also had a great deal of influence on the kind of image which is created.

While we have, in our present society, a greater ability to communicate than at any time in the past, the quality of that communication has dropped drastically. The ability to engage in coherent and intelligent debate has almost completely vanished. Political candidates now debate in sound bites because that’s what the technology facilitates. Disagreements are now often reduced to shouting matches, both on and off the Internet.

Technology has also given rise to a new form of harassment called cyber bullying. For young people, online social networks have become an important part of gaining social acceptance. Children are considered outcasts if they don’t have a Facebook page. In fact, the need for communication over the Internet is so great that children often use it as an argument against their parents attempts to restrict Internet access.

When a universal increase in the ability to communicate is coupled with a lowering of the quality of communication, it results in an inevitable increase in rudeness and cruelty. Bullying is often the result. Because of this, parents should be informed of the dangers as well as the advantages of the Internet.

One of the big problems with cyber bullying is that it is not direct and face to face. Anyone with a computer can make rude, viscous or denigrating remarks against another person without fear of physical reprisal. While the anonymity of the Internet may give power to the powerless, it also gives power to the crude and the ruthless. Cyber bullying has become a very serious problem that has already resulted in more than one death by suicide. Cyber bullying is most severe among teenage girls, although boys are sometimes victims or the bullies.

The lack of face-to-face contact gives courage to bullies and makes them feel invincible. Because of this, they may make a far more serious assault than they would if they had to physically confront their victim.

One of the dangers of cyber bullying is that children rarely report it to their parents when it happens. This is primarily due to fears that parents will restrict internet access, overreact, under-react, or simply not understand.

Since your child may not reveal when he or she is being bullied, it is very important to understand and look for the signs of cyber bullying. Here is what you should look for:

• Sudden withdrawal from online communication
• Your child blocks or clears the screen or closes the browser when you enter the room. The same applies if your child closes or quickly puts away his phone.
• Withdrawal from friends or an unwillingness to participate in social activities with his or her peers.
• A rapid change in mood after being online or using a cell phone.
• Your child suddenly changes his circle of friends.
• Your child is withdrawn, sad or agitated for no apparent reason.

Here’s what you can do about cyber bullying.

• Maintain communication with your children. Don’t lecture or fuss, just let them know that you are willing to listen and that they can come to you if they have a problem. They are not alone.
• If they have done something over which they are embarrassed, such as sending an inappropriate picture of themselves to someone else, or they are embarrassed by the bullying itself, let them know that you won’t punish them, you are simply concerned for their safety.
• Take action. Let the school or the authorities know what is happening. Many law enforcement agencies now have special task groups who investigate incidents of cyber bullying.
• Be particularly vigilant if your child has a developmental disorder. Children with disorders such as ADHD, ODD, and Autism are more likely to be bullied and to be bullies. They tend to act impulsively and don’t always understand the subtleties of social interaction.

And finally, stay computer literate. Learn the language of social media. You can find out a lot at netlingo.com. By learning about social media, you open up the communication lines between yourself and your child, because you have knowledge of social media in common. A parent who knows social media is one of the best defenses against cyber bullying.

Image Credit: Alexis Tejeda - http://www.flickr.com/photos/alexonrails/5701764082

How To Help Young Children Develop Strong Social Skills

Reprint of my article published by Family Focus Blog on July 17, 2013

Social-emotional wellness refers to the ability to experience, express and regulate emotions, form secure positive relationships, to and individuate and acquire increasing independence. A child who has healthy social-emotional skills is able to label and understand his or her own feelings as well those of others. He can manage his own emotions and express them in a way that is positive and helpful to him and appropriate for his social situation. As children grow, they learn to empathize with people in their environment and are able to form and maintain positive relationships with adults and other children in their community.

Children, however, are not born with these abilities and must learn them.  It is up to caregivers and educators to teach social-emotional skills implicitly and explicitly from early on. In order to be successful in this endeavor, adults need to read the child’s cues, acknowledge which stage he is at, and understand what is to be expected at each age. In the first year of a child’s life, he sends cues to parents and other caregivers to express how he feels. A young baby will cry when in distress and smile at the voices, faces and smiles of familiar people. Her little face and body will react when she is interested, surprised or frustrated. It is our responsibility to interpret and react to these cues in order to teach the child that we are in tune with their needs. Parents foster social development by changing their baby’s soiled diapers, smiling in response to their smiles, and talking to their child.. Parents should also play games like peek-a-boo and naming the things in the child’s environment such as toys and parts of the body. These activities increase attachment between baby and primary caregiver. As attachments are formed, your child will respond differently when an unfamiliar person attempts to hold, stroke or even feed him or her. The little one responds with anxiety. These are normal reactions indicating that the child’s social-emotional development is proceeding well.

Children 12 to 36 months of age see themselves as the center of the world and begin to be more self-aware. They begin to become more independent. As a result, they can have short-lived and rapid mood swings in which tantrums can be expected. They start testing their limits, are not keen to share and will not play with other children as much as play next to them. At this time, routines are very important. To support his or her development of social skills, you can begin by praising your toddler for doing things independently and give them toys to play with. You can start planning playdates and encourage your child to make decisions and explore. Continue to sing songs, clap hands and dance together. Encourage your child to imitate your silly moves. In his third year, listen and talk with your child. Talk to them about how you feel and teach them to do the same by identifying and acknowledging how they feel. When conversing, do not stand above them: get to their level, look them in the eyes and speak face to face.

At three to five year old, children begin to enjoy playing with other children. They need to learn how to share, take turns and talk about their feelings in order to express themselves and resolve conflict. Teach them implicitly by modeling such behavior. Explicitly teach them the language of feelings and social negotiation.  They’re eager to please and want to be trusted. At this stage, it is important to set clear and consistent consequences for what happens when they break the rules. As their mind develops, they will begin to show an understanding for the point of view and feelings of others (empathy). Let them participate in role-playing games with others in which they can play pilot, doctor, policeman, etc., to gain independence, build confidence and learn the roles of adults around them. Discussing books and movies and giving them small household chores, such as setting the table or cleaning up their toys after a game also helps with development of strong social-emotional skills.

Solid social-emotional skills are crucial for young children to thrive and handle difficult situations. The key is to establish secure relationships with caregivers that will teach them about compassion, trust, generosity and empathy through experience. 

Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nwardez/3740406214

On Peer Pressure: Trying to understand and help your teen

Reprint of my article published by SurfNetParents.com on July 12, 2013

 

You have been raising your child from infancy and suddenly he's turned into a teen. The days are long gone when your child used to look at you for approval after doing a good deed. Now he is looking to his friends for approval and some of his peers may not have the type of value system that your family does. When your son or daughter is under the influence of peer pressure, don't underestimate the amount of pressure there really is. Your child is growing up, and while he is trying to maintain his own individuality, there is still the point of fitting in with his friends that is vitally important to him.

You're standing on the outside looking in 

Somewhere along the way you have lost control over your child, and you probably can't even pinpoint the exact moment when this happened. One day he was in diapers and the next you are getting a phone call from a concerned parent about a party your son or daughter was attending with a group of teens where things were occurring that you wouldn't approve of. Your child is growing up and somehow finding his way into trouble.

It is extremely frustrating to not know exactly what's going on in your child's life at any given moment. Somehow you just have to trust that the values you have instilled in your child will remain, but you know that peer pressure is also going to be a problem. How can you solve this dilemma and still retain your own dignity as a parent? 

Trying to understand your teen

As a parent, you need to get an understanding of what's happening inside your teen’s head. You have to realize is that at this point in your child's life, the difference in years between you and your child is going to become a factor. Since you are older, he will feel that you automatically cannot understand anything that he is going through. Although you can tell him time and time again that there was sex and drugs back in the days when you went to high school, he'll still think that everything was different.

You don't need to go to a child psychologist to figure out your teen. What you need to do is try to establish the best form of open communication possible so that you can know what he is up to at all times. The best way to go about this is by letting him know what's going on in your life, so that hopefully he will open up about some of the things happening in his. At this point, you'll have to use a lot of understanding and try not to judge him too harshly for anything he says. The idea is to get the communication lines open enough so that you two can discuss things better.

Your teenager is probably having a harder time than you think

Even though your child may seem defiant at this difficult age, you should not give up. Peer pressure is probably affecting him a lot more than you could ever imagine and he is deep down actually counting on you to guide them through this rough spot. Although he would never admit it, his defiant nature is just a manifestation of his own wrongdoings. Deep down he is still the innocent child that you have brought into this world and although he is now subjected to many more external influences, you still need to maintain open communication and never give up on your child.

Parents must understand that although a teenager may test their limits, he will mature over time. Eventually your child will reach an age when he is less influenced by peer pressure and easier to communicate with. You must get through these difficult years and provide consequences for your child's actions, enforcing punishments when it is necessary. you will come out at the other end and your child will develop into a mature adult with real-life values.

Image source/credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/imagination_indie/983296851/

 Link to original publication: http://www.surfnetparents.com/3980/on-peer-pressure-trying-to-understand-and-help-your-teen/

 

Would You Use Your Smartphone as a Therapy Tool?

Reprint of my article published by HealthWorks Collective on July 8, 2013

When feeling depressed or anxious, some people do not want to go to a therapist, either because of the cost, the stigma, or both. MoodKit is a smartphone app that can help with depression and other psychological issues through the use of a modified, self-administered Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Depression can often lead to more depression, as people look at their situation in distorted ways and withdraw from activities that would otherwise make them feel better. CBT disrupts that process by helping people keep track of their moods and activities and then prompts them to do the things that make them feel accomplished and connected.  MoodKit allows users to track the connections between their activities, moods, and thoughts. For example, they may indicate that today they ate alone at a fast-food restaurant and during the meal, thought about their friend, who did not respond to a text message, and felt that the friend does not care about them. They may also record that they were in a poor mood. MoodKit helps users associate these three things in order for them get a better idea of what thoughts and activities make them feel depressed or anxious, and which ones make them feel good. Another benefit to MoodKit is that, as many people carry their smartphones with them all of the time, it is constantly available, and much more portable and discrete than a self-help book.

This app can also be used in tandem with more traditional CBT with a therapist. While many therapists may harbor mixed feelings about implementing mobile technology as part of their clinical practice, it is likely that programs such as MoodKit can improve the efficacy of their treatments. CBT emphasizes skill-building and active participation on the client’s part through use of homework assignments. When MoodKit is integrated into more traditional CBT, it can act as the homework assignments, with activities such as daily mood ratings, a calendar to keep track of activities, a journal, and activity suggestions including suggestions to increase productivity, physical activity, healthy habits, social activities, with the possibility to mark favorites for easy access.  The journaling option has multiple pre-formatted templates to develop various skills. There is an option to export all mood charts, journals and activities to the therapist, or to print them wirelessly. When used in conjunction with traditional therapy, MoodKit is likely to reduce the number of required CBT sessions, because it provides the therapist with statistical data about the patient. This data allows therapists to identify the triggers which cause anxiety and depression.

One of the more helpful features in the MoodKit app is the behavioral activation tool. Based on the analysis of the user's data, it suggests activities that will help them feel better. Over 150 activities are available in the app, along with examples and tips for implementation. After the user engages in a few of these activities, the app has an intelligent algorithm that suggests future activities based on the ratings that the user has given for the activities he has tried. Another tool allows the user to describe their situation (e.g.“I didn’t get that promotion at work that I expected”), their initial thought about the situation (e.g.“I’m never going to move up in my job”), identify the distortions in their though process(in this case “catastrophizing” and “fortune telling”), and come up with a modified thought (e.g.“It might take longer than I hoped, but that doesn’t mean I’ll never get that promotion”). On the same screen, users can list their feelings and rate the change between their initial and modified thoughts. This is a part of the cognitive restructuring tool in the app, which helps users manage their negative feelings related to a situation by generating adaptive alternatives to these thoughts and feelings. These situations, initial and modified thoughts,  feelings, and distortions are all recorded through step-by-step prompts.

While there have not yet been many studies determining the efficacy of the MoodKit app, there is no reason why it should not be at least as efficacious as traditional CBT homework assignments, especially when paired with traditional therapy. It is based on the tenets of CBT, which has been found to be an effective therapeutic approach, but it has the benefit of being portable. One of the downsides to traditional therapy is that, in the moment when someone is thinking a distorted or upsetting thought, it is not possible to always have a therapist or even a worksheet with them. There are times when it is not appropriate to journal about one’s mental health, but it is almost always socially acceptable to use your smartphone. As one user of this app noted, “As far as anyone else knows, I’m just another guy texting or checking email, not someone completing a therapy assignment”.       

image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/67914476@N04/6497720753

Link to original publication: http://healthworkscollective.com/talishenfield/113536/smartphone-therapy-tool-CBT

Executive Functions and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Executive function impairment has been traditionally viewed as a part of ADHD. Dr. Thomas E Brown in his new book "A New Understanding of ADHD in Children and Adults: Executive Function Impairments" (released in May, 2013) suggests that Executive Function Disorder (EFD) should be considered a distinct mental disorder. 

ADHD was initially described in medical literature in 1902 as a disruptive behavior disorder. It characterized children who were unable to sit still in class, listen to adults, and who often disrupted their classrooms. Then, as now, ADHD was seen more often in young boys than girls. In 1980, this conceptualization changed to highlight problems with attention as the key aspect of the disorder. Now called Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), it remained categorized as a behavior disorder, despite the omission of a behavioral descriptor from the name. In 1987, the diagnosis once again placed an equal emphasis on hyperactivity in addition to attention difficulties. In 1994, a subtype that did not have problems with hyperactivity, only attention, was again acknowledged.

Regardless of the name of the disorder or to what extent hyperactivity is considered to be a major symptom, research into cognitive impairments associated with ADHD have discovered that children and adults with ADHD tend to perform less well on measures of executive function than those without the disorder. Executive function refers to the management of the brain's cognitive abilities and is the mechanism by which the brain self-regulates. When this discovery was made, some researchers began to think of ADHD as a disorder primarily of executive function because the symptoms of ADHD can be explained by problems in this area. If the brain is an orchestra, executive function is the conductor. In this perspective, people with ADHD have an incompetent conductor. Yet efforts to conclusively assess executive functions using neuropsychological measures have had mixed results. While groups with ADHD did show impairment on measures of vigilance, working memory, planning and response inhibition, researchers concluded that while these weaknesses were associated with ADHD, they could not be considered a cause. Of course, no correlational study could prove a causal link, but the true problem with these conclusions is that only about 30% of those with ADHD have significant impairments in their executive functioning.

An alternative way of considering the link between executive function and ADHD is that there are clusters of cognitive functions that make up executive functioning. These six clusters are activation, which involves organizing and prioritizing, focusing, which involves maintaining and shifting attention, effort, which involves levels of alertness and processing speeds, emotion, which involves regulating emotion and frustration, memory, which involves utilizing working memory, and action, which involves the monitoring and self-regulation of actions. From this perspective, these executive functions are situationally problematic for those with ADHD. Individuals with ADHD seem to have some areas in which they have no difficulty performing various functions, but may be completely impaired in those same areas in other aspects of life. They often describe it as being related to their personal interest in the subject. Therefore, it is not cognitive functioning itself that is impaired, but rather the systems that turn these functions on and off. If a day-to-day task does not offer some sufficient intrinsic benefit or threat, the cognitive functions are not turned on. Additionally, this perspective does not see ADHD as an all-or-nothing disorder. It is not as simple as having ADHD or not, but it is rather more like depression, which comes and goes.

While these models are significantly divergent from each other, they both attempt to synthesize the understandings of executive functions as a self-regulatory mechanism, as well as describing ADHD as a disorder that involves a problem in the individual's development of their executive functioning. The first perspective sees behavioral inhibition as aspect of executive function that all other functions depend on, and which is defective in those with ADHD. In the second perspective, behavioral inhibition is one of many executive functions that are interdependent and interconnected. All people with ADHD, in both views, have impairment of executive function; it is the essence of the disorder. There is another inherent conflict between these two views based upon how executive function is defined. If it is defined as the set of functions accurately measured by neuropsychological tests, then only a minority of those with ADHD have such impairments. The implication of this conflict is that there needs to be a redefinition of executive functioning. The typical approach in scientific research is to isolate and measure a specific variable, yet this approach is inappropriate for executive function due to its very nature. Instead, tests of executive function for ADHD should involve situations that attempt to replicate real life. 

Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22498741@N02/2425844539

Link to original publication: http://www.adders.org/research83_executive_function_and_adhd.htm
 

On Use of Hypnosis for Treatment of PTSD

Reprint of my article published at HealthWorksCollective.com on June 10, 2013


Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) affects around 10% of the population and can strike anyone after a traumatic event.  A traumatic event is defined differently for everyone. For one person a traumatic event could be getting a divorce while for someone else it may be fighting in a war. The perception of the event from the viewpoint of the person with PTSD is what determines the severity of the symptoms and duration of the disorder. Acute PTSD lasts no more than 3 months while chronic PTSD lasts much longer. No matter the trauma, a person with PTSD lives with flashbacks of the event, avoidance behaviors, hypervigilance, and often physical symptoms such as headaches and gastrointestinal concerns. These symptoms can often be debilitating and life-altering, and can be very difficult to treat.

Treatment can include medication, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and/or Hypnosis.  A multimodal approach has been found to be most effective in the treatment of PTSD. Medication can ease some symptoms and make life bearable but it is often necessary to have some form of therapy in order to reach full remission.  Although hypnosis is not a true form of therapy on its own, it is a technique that can be used to increase the chances of recovery from this disorder when paired with therapeutic intervention. Most people are not familiar with the therapeutic effects of hypnosis and may see it as something of a party trick. However, it can be a very useful tool to aid therapy. The origin of hypnosis as magical or metaphysical contributes to the skepticism of those who question its use in the mental health field. Hypnosis emerged in the 1800s from a new awareness of meditation techniques. It was reported that self-hypnosis, or meditation, was showing positive results in the East but how it worked was not truly known. There have been many metaphysical, medical, and psychological hypotheses about how hypnosis works to induce change in the mind and body. There has been equal skepticism about whether it works at all. The uses for hypnosis are plentiful and diverse. It has been used to cure ailments, addictions, pain, mental health, and a host of other concerns. Recently, hypnosis has been studied scientifically to show that it is effective in helping patients deal with all the symptoms involved in PTSD including dissociations, flashbacks, and hypervigilant fear responses.

Hypnosis is in essence an intensely focused state in which the mind ignores outside stimuli and the person becomes  tuned in and in control of their thoughts. During this time, the counselor is able to help the patient traverse his thoughts and fears in a safe environment, allowing him to become aware of his dysfunctional behaviors and reactions. Hypnosis allows the patient to minimize the effect of the traumatic  event on their daily life and to learn how to relax when the fear reaction is triggered.  The most important factors in the use of hypnotism in therapy are the patient’s ability and willingness to be hypnotized and the therapist’s training and expertise in the use of this technique. Going into a hypnotic state makes the patient extremely vulnerable because he is disconnected from his environment and highly suggestible. It is important that the relationship with the counselor is a trusting one so that the patient is able to process feelings and progress appropriately. It is equally important that the counselor be able to effectively lead the patient through hypnosis in a way that is clinically helpful.

Hypnosis is used with treatment in a stair stepped approach. It is first used to allow the patient to learn to relax and regain control in situations outside of therapy. Specific suggestions are instilled in the patient to allow them to quickly call on these coping strategies when neeeded. Next, it is used to find resolution in the trauma. During this time, the patient will be able to use reframing and integration techniques to see the trauma in a new light. This step in hypnosis can also allow the patient to dissolve self-blame and restructure the event in a way that allows for closure and a decrease in exaggerated recreations during flashbacks. In the final step of hypnosis, the patient is able to learn to maintain stability and solidify coping and relaxation mechanisms in daily life. They will be able to distract their thoughts from the trauma and regain control over their daily life. If used correctly, hypnosis along with therapy can alleviate the daily retraumatizing symptoms that a patient must endure. When used shortly after the trauma has occurred, the effects of hypnosis can be seen in very few sessions.

PTSD is a fairly new diagnosis and studies are continually being done to determine the most effective combination of interventions. Although hypnosis is an effective technique in the therapeutic treatment of PTSD, it must be tailored to the needs of the patient and adjusted as those needs change.

image: flickr-photos-42269094@N05-4707772587 

Link to original publication: http://healthworkscollective.com/talishenfield/107161/use-hypnosis-treatment-ptsd

Dealing with Anger and Aggression in Children

Reprint of my article published at MedHelp.org on June 25, 2013

 Every parent wants to protect their children, teach them to protect themselves, and help them redirect their own outbursts before they become dangerous and aggressive. We want to know that when our children become angry, we can discipline them appropriately and effectively and that we can help them resolve their conflicts constructively. It is important to identify children who may need professional help or may be at risk for future problems related to anger and aggression. 

If your child is being victimized and does not have a way to ward off a bully, he needs immediate help. You can spot the warning signs by noticing if your child is getting hurt or bruised, appears scared, has nightmares and doesn’t want to go to school. Your child is may be a victim of bullying if he or she speaks negatively of him or herself, appears to be socially isolated, or talks of being put down physically and/or verbally at school. You can help by instructing your child to stand up for himself, by teaching him to say ‘Stop hurting me/hitting me/pushing me’, or a simple and firm ‘NO!’ if he is preverbal. Teach him to speak firmly, stand tall and walk away from his bully. It is a good idea to inform a teacher at school so that he can be supervised when you are not around. 

Sometimes, children who are being victimized turn to aggression as a means to express themselves. Many young children also lash out because of low self-esteem, isolation, and a sense of failure and anxiety. Sadness and depression is often linked with anger in young children. Young children also tend to act out of angry defiance to assert independence when they feel unimportant and lacking control over their lives. It is important not to dismiss their transgressions, because childhood-onset anger and aggression is correlated with serious problems later in life. In fact, parents who choose not to react might be ignoring symptoms of potential childhood psychiatric disorders such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Conduct Disorder. The problem may become more persistent and “can be part of a developmental trajectory leading to adolescent delinquency” (Barry and Lochman, 2004). 

I assume that you are reading this blog because you know you need to be involved in shaping your child’s social behavior. So what should you do and which reactions should you avoid? It is absolutely necessary to remind your child what kinds of behaviors are unacceptable and to teach them the ramifications of breaking the rules. With both younger and older children, it is important to understand that anger is not ‘bad’. It is not the child that is bad, but the behavior. As mentioned above, it is crucial that you do not ignore their outburst. Help them communicate how they feel. Do not act out of impulse and verbally berate your child or become physical. Not only are these strategies ineffective, they teach your child deplorable ways of coping with problems. You want to model proper behavior and teach him or her that every problem has a solution that can be arrived at with a calm and clear mind. Reasoning works better with older children, whereas younger children who act aggressively out of anger need a time out so that they do not hurt themselves or others.  You can help both younger and older children to cool down by acknowledging how they feel and instructing them in techniques such as deep breathing and relaxation. With young children, it is usually beneficial just to stand nearby, watch them when you expect them to get stirred up and talk to them about how they feel before they escalate. An unexpected warm touch might remind the child that they have you at their side. It is helpful to remind both younger and older children of the strengths they possess and strategies at their disposal to help them work through their problems. By doing so, you are building up the child’s self-esteem and encouraging him to resolve his own conflicts in ways that are not hurtful.

If your child appears to have problems managing his emotions on a regular basis, this might be a good time to consider professional help. There are intensive programs which help older children and adolescents, in groups and one-on-one. These programs encourage a child to identify and express how he or she is feeling, to take another’s perspective and to practice role playing in order to learn techniques to scale down violent outbursts. They usually include components on problem-solving, negotiation and resisting peer pressure. There are also professional-led workshops and classes for parents. They teach you how to talk to your child, what to look out for and how to behave in the moment so that you don’t have to lose your cool. It is important not to underestimate your influence and the role you have in preventing your child from going down the trajectory that leads him or her to potential academic failure, delinquency, substance abuse and other deleterious behaviors. 

If your child's anger manifests through intense screaming, kicking, hitting, or biting, he or she may have so called "anger overload". To learn how to deal with anger overload you can read my article "Does your child suffer from Anger Overload" at http://www.psy-ed.com/blog/anger-Apr2013.php 

Link to original publication: http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/803752/Dealing-with-Anger-and-Aggression-in-Children

The Mystery of Memory

Reprint of my article published at yourbrainatwork.org on June 24, 2013

Have you ever read and enjoyed a book, only to discover that you can't remember it years later? Things start to come back when you pick it up and reread it, yet that reread is mostly a new experience that is only modified by the original reading. The same sort of thing occurs with the names of people we knew in the past. How many of us can accurately list the names and faces of the people we knew in the seventh grade?

Memory is a strange thing. There is a transience about it that is both unique and mysterious. The day-to-day details get lost amid the constant updates. How many of us remember what we had for breakfast two weeks ago last Sunday, let alone twenty years ago? The transience of memory may have something to do with the emotional impact of the memory. We may remember our first kiss, but not the face of our math teacher, unless we either really loved or really hated math.

Transience affects both short and long-term memory. A short-term memory (also called working memory ) is formed when the mind relays what is happening now to what happened only a short time ago. A good example of short term memory is writing a long sentence. You wouldn't be able to string the words together in any meaningful way unless you could remember the words that you wrote a few seconds before. Short term memory gets displaced quickly. It gets knocked out of position by the next thing the mind focuses its attention on. In one experiment, test subjects were given a three letter sequence to memorize and then were asked to count backward in sets of threes, such as 100, 97, 94 etc. It took only eighteen seconds of backward counting to displace the three letter set.

By contrast, long term memory seems to be a matter of slowly forgetting. We move to a new neighborhood and we slowly forget the faces of the people and the names of the streets where we once lived. Of course, when we revisit that place, the memories start coming back. This is evidence that we, perhaps, never really forget anything . The information is just downgraded, because we aren't using it, until it gets filed in some remote cubbyhole of the mind, until circumstance cause us to pull it out and dust it off. There is no real evidence that the human mind actually ever really forgets anything. The problem is that the further back you go, the more debatable the memory becomes. There are vivid memories from childhood that can be triggered by a cue, such as a particular smell or sound or even the return of a person that we knew as a child. Memories can sometimes be recalled under hypnosis, but the veracity of such memories depends to a great extent on the hypnotist. This is especially true of memories of events that took place long ago. People under hypnosis are very suggestible and it is easy for a hypnotist who doesn't know what he's doing or is looking for a memory he believes is there to accidentally "implant" a memory of something that never actually occurred.

We are only beginning to scratch the surface of the human mind. The more we study, the more its complexity, diversity and adaptability amaze us. Will there come a time when we truly understand every nuance of our minds and all the hidden corners are revealed? 

Link to original publication: http://yourbrainatwork.org/the-mystery-of-memory-how-memory-works/ 

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Persistent Memories and PTSD

Reprint of my article published at yourbrainatwork.org on June 1, 2013

Memory doesn't always fade away. It can persist, even to our detriment. Those afflicted by post traumatic stress disorder are often haunted by memories and images of traumatic events to a point where it becomes unbearable. The ordeal they underwent keeps resurfacing over and over again.

The persistence of memory, especially the persistence of traumatic memory is likely a survival mechanism that developed in the distant past when human beings were constantly on the move. It was a way of remembering the bad things that happened and driving us away from similar circumstances. In our modern lives, traumatic circumstances may not be all that common. Still, we're stuck with the memories, even when they are no longer useful.

Direct forgetting, that is just telling yourself, or being told by someone to forget, doesn't seem to work. A traumatic experience causes our minds to be hyper-sensitive to certain concepts, words and surroundings. In one study, a group of women who had been sexually abused as children were given words that described traumatic experiences and then told to forget them. Very few could. While, on the other hand, the control group made up of women who had not been abused could easily forget. It appeared that traumatic experiences actually suppress the ability to forget. So, it seems that, in treating post traumatic stress disorder, we are actually up against a built-in mental mechanism designed to keep traumatic memories and things associated with them at the forefront of the mind.

This mechanism can have often be linked to depression. It can create a vicious cycle where thinking about traumatic past events can lead to depression and depression can lead to more thinking about traumatic past events.

Studies have shown that when people are encouraged to be introspective, they often tend to recall negative thoughts, while people whose attention is extroverted tend to recall more positive thoughts. Does this mean that the cure for depression is to be an outgoing extrovert?

Well, not really.

The persistence of memory and the tendency of traumatic experiences to persist is part of a memory system that has evolved for the purpose of survival. Our ability to remember consequences keeps us from making the same mistakes twice.

The number of life threatening, traumatic situations that the average person encounters has been greatly diminished in our modern world. Because of this, a mechanism that once kept us alive is now more often a hindrance than a help.

Will the day come when we evolve out of this little trap? Maybe, if things keep going as they are. However, if our descendants don't have the cushy lives that we have, the persistence of memory might once more be a valuable survival tool.

 

Link to original publication: http://yourbrainatwork.org/persistent-memories-and-ptsd/