6 Signs Your Child May Have ADHD

Reprint of my article published by WebDiagnosis.com on Sept. 4th

It is difficult for parents to deal with the thought that their child might have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Schools often push parents or caretakers into using medications to solve behavioral problems. Often, the teachers will take it upon themselves to provisionally diagnose a child with ADHD. This leaves the parents feeling pressured, frustrated, and unsupported. It is important for the caretaker of a child with behavioral concerns to understand the difference between normal childhood behavior and the true diagnosis of ADHD. There are several signs and symptoms of ADHD that you should watch for so that you can make an informed decision about the care of your child. They will help you determine if it is time to seek a professional opinion.

To be considered symptoms of ADHD,  the behaviors described in this article must be present for at least six months, cause distress in the life of the child or family, and be present in more than one environment. If the behavior is temporary due to stress or only is present at school, then your child may need an evaluation for another disorder, but it is likely not ADHD. Also, a child with only one or two symptoms may not have ADHD but might benefit from counseling or mentoring.

1.       Impulsive behavior. A child that shows signs of being a risk taker may have ADHD. Risky behavior will become evident as the child gains independence. Some of them are normal signs of growth: By testing boundaries and pushing through their limitations, children are able to mature and develop skills necessary for adulthood. The problem comes when the behavior seems to happen without much thought or concern for consequences. The impulsive behavior may be as simple as blurting out answers or questions in class or as dangerous as deciding to jump from a high place or use drugs.

2.       Forgetfulness. Some children might pretend to forget activities which do not want to do, but for a child with ADHD, forgetfulness is less selective than this. They will forget preferred activities as well as ones they may not enjoy. They may become distracted while completing one task and forget about that task altogether. This may happen multiple times during the day which may end with their video game controller in the refrigerator, their homework on the front lawn, and the telephone in the bathroom. In school, the teacher may show you work that is half done or off-topic. All children have occasional or purposeful forgetfulness, but with ADHD, it may seem as though the child can’t help it.

3.       Hyperactivity. A hyperactive child is different than a child that is just active. A hyperactive child seems like they are plugged into an electrical outlet and cannot stop moving. Hyperactivity is easily noticed and often disruptive. A child that is truly hyperactive will be moving even when they are sitting still. Their legs may shake, their fingers may tap, or they may constantly fidget. You may notice that the child needs to stand up or move around in situations where it is customary to sit down, such as in a movie theater or a classroom. The hyperactivity will not be due to medication or behavioral issues, and is seemingly out of the control of the child.

4.       Interruptions. If having a conversation with or near your child is difficult due to constant interruptions, it might be due to ADHD. Interruptions from young children without ADHD occur, but usually are less intrusive and disruptive than from a child with ADHD. This also includes physical interruptions, such as not being able to wait their turn for a game or cutting in the lunch line without regard to social norms. The child with ADHD does not do this with the intent to irritate or mistreat others, but just cannot wait for his or her turn. This is likely due to the thoughts of the child being so rapid and changing that it is important to them to do the activity or ask the question in the moment before the next impulse comes along. In a child with ADHD, redirection and attempts at correcting the behavior are not successful over the long term.

5.       Avoidance. Often, children with ADHD have difficulty in school and, if left untreated, may develop learning disorders or fall behind their peers. Being able to listen and retain hours of information for a child with ADHD is nearly impossible. For the hyperactive child, avoidance may be more overt and purposeful. The child may ask to go to the restroom multiple times or ask to sharpen their pencil or to do another small task that consumes time and allows them to avoid work or chores. A child that is more inattentive will escape through doodling or daydreaming. They may be very slow and deliberate with their work so that there is not enough time to complete it. In either situation it may seem like things never get fully done by the child at school or at home.

6.       Unfocused. Children with ADHD have trouble maintaining their focus and this makes it difficult for them to be successful at school. The structure of a school day does not work for the unstructured thoughts and needs of a child with ADHD. It may also be difficult for them to focus outside of school, when they are watching television, playing games, talking, completing homework, or doing chores. A child with ADHD may quickly lose eye contact with you due to something else catching their attention, or might stop mid-conversation and begin talking about an unrelated topic.

If your child exhibits with any of these symptoms and they cause distress, it is wise to find a counselor that specializes in child and adolescent disorders. If more than a couple of these symptoms describe your child, then there is a high likelihood that your child may have some form of ADHD. A psychologist, psychiatrist, or developmental pediatrician can help make a clear diagnosis and suggest appropriate treatment options.

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The Benefits of Being Angry

Reprint of my article published by HealthyPlace.com on Aug. 20th

Your heart races, your body temperature rises, and you feel ready for an outburst that expresses how angry you really are. You may be tempted to hold back your anger, but this may not always be the best approach. It turns out anger has a beneficial side too. This emotion is often hidden or repressed by some, but it can be helpful and even healthy.

Psychologists examining the expression of anger are finding that it can help resolve disputes when combined with a proactive approach. When two people use anger to work towards a solution, rather than to vent about how they’ve been wronged, anger is actually a positive emotion. Such an approach can strengthen a relationship as it allows one party to evaluate and express how he feels. The other party benefits from this as well. When not played out in a dramatic manner, he gets a better understanding of his partner’s view of the problem and the two can start towards a negotiation that may lead to compromise. “This is in contrast to the negative long-term consequences described by people who felt they were victimized and yet hid their anger from the perpetrator” say Baumeister, Stillwell and Wotman in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol. 59, No. 5).

Everyday anger is beneficial outside the home as well. It can decrease feelings of uncertainty on the national front. In 2001, Dr. Larissa Tiedens of Stanford University published a paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology citing four studies that found evidence for people granting more status to politicians who express anger than to politicians who express sadness or guilt. Just think back to the events following 9/11 and recall the leadership with which Rudolph Giuliani, then mayor of New York empowered the people to feel less fearful. President George W. Bush also used anger to rally the troops and empower people following the attack. A clear expression of anger is seen as powerful and prepares people for action. 

Additionally, feelings of certainty and optimism as a positive outcome following anger were evidenced and measured in scientific literature by social psychologists Jennifer Lerner, Roxanna Gonzales, Deborah Small and Baruch Fischoff from Carnegie Mellon University. Their study, published in the March, 2003 issue of Psychological Science, examined the responses of the public during two stages following the 9/11 attacks. The first stage took place nine days following the attacks. As a baseline, 1786 people were assessed regarding their feelings about the event and their levels of stress, anxiety and desire for revenge. Two months later, as stage two of their study, Lerner and colleagues primed 973 participants to feel angry, fearful or sad. The different groups had different reactions. More specifically, those primed to feel angry were found to give more realistic and optimistic assessments of 25 terrorist-related risks compared to the participants primed to feel fearful. In this way, angry people feel more in control and have a higher degree of certainty than fearful people.

Anger can also help promote justice without resorting to violence. In fact, anger reduces violence, even when it precedes it. Imagine how different the world would be without the angry words and actions that brought about change when Martin Luther King Jr. fought for civil rights in the 1960’s or when women were advocating for the right to vote and be seen as equals in society. In this way, anger motivates change.

In addition to reducing domestic and national disputes, improving relationships, and lubricating negotiations, anger can also be beneficial to health. When used constructively, anger benefits heart patients who have problems with hostility. According to one analysis by Davidson and colleagues published in Health Psychology (2000),  anger helps these patients maintain their resting blood pressure.  Constructive anger is a way to resolve a problem when the person expressing it is justified and presents his frustrations to the wrongdoer. By contrast, anger is not constructive, that is to say it is destructive, when it is used to confront someone or vent bad feelings.

We can all benefit from recognizing the positive sides of anger. Anger puts us in touch with our point of view, allows us to feel more in control and can be the first step towards negotiating a solution to a problem. It motivates, alleviates uncertainty, reduces violence and hostility and can even be good for your heart. So don’t be so quick to discount anger as a negative emotion or hide it behind a ‘grin and bear it’ attitude.

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On Cyber Bullying as a Social Phenomenon

Reprint of my article published by kidzmet.com on Aug. 21st

Our society has changed a great deal over the last fifty years. Technology has increased our ability to communicate with each other. The world has gone wireless and the average human being today carries in his or her pocket more communication potential than that possessed by any mid-Twentieth Century government office.

It is not surprising that this vast network of communication has a great deal of influence on our children. The continuous adoption of new technologies has become a social game-changer. Lifestyles, and modes of social interaction are in a constant state of flux. These new developments also cause a number of new problems, not the least of which is a loss of social skills. Social skills are an art form. An analogy can be made to the art of painting. At one time, it was quite beneficial to be able to paint a recognizable reproduction of a real-life scene. Then along comes the camera, making it possible to reproduce an image without having to pick up a brush. The camera reduced the necessity of realistic painting, and also had a great deal of influence on the kind of image which is created.

While we have, in our present society, a greater ability to communicate than at any time in the past, the quality of that communication has dropped drastically. The ability to engage in coherent and intelligent debate has almost completely vanished. Political candidates now debate in sound bites because that’s what the technology facilitates. Disagreements are now often reduced to shouting matches, both on and off the Internet.

Technology has also given rise to a new form of harassment called cyber bullying. For young people, online social networks have become an important part of gaining social acceptance. Children are considered outcasts if they don’t have a Facebook page. In fact, the need for communication over the Internet is so great that children often use it as an argument against their parents attempts to restrict Internet access.

When a universal increase in the ability to communicate is coupled with a lowering of the quality of communication, it results in an inevitable increase in rudeness and cruelty. Bullying is often the result. Because of this, parents should be informed of the dangers as well as the advantages of the Internet.

One of the big problems with cyber bullying is that it is not direct and face to face. Anyone with a computer can make rude, viscous or denigrating remarks against another person without fear of physical reprisal. While the anonymity of the Internet may give power to the powerless, it also gives power to the crude and the ruthless. Cyber bullying has become a very serious problem that has already resulted in more than one death by suicide. Cyber bullying is most severe among teenage girls, although boys are sometimes victims or the bullies.

The lack of face-to-face contact gives courage to bullies and makes them feel invincible. Because of this, they may make a far more serious assault than they would if they had to physically confront their victim.

One of the dangers of cyber bullying is that children rarely report it to their parents when it happens. This is primarily due to fears that parents will restrict internet access, overreact, under-react, or simply not understand.

Since your child may not reveal when he or she is being bullied, it is very important to understand and look for the signs of cyber bullying. Here is what you should look for:

• Sudden withdrawal from online communication
• Your child blocks or clears the screen or closes the browser when you enter the room. The same applies if your child closes or quickly puts away his phone.
• Withdrawal from friends or an unwillingness to participate in social activities with his or her peers.
• A rapid change in mood after being online or using a cell phone.
• Your child suddenly changes his circle of friends.
• Your child is withdrawn, sad or agitated for no apparent reason.

Here’s what you can do about cyber bullying.

• Maintain communication with your children. Don’t lecture or fuss, just let them know that you are willing to listen and that they can come to you if they have a problem. They are not alone.
• If they have done something over which they are embarrassed, such as sending an inappropriate picture of themselves to someone else, or they are embarrassed by the bullying itself, let them know that you won’t punish them, you are simply concerned for their safety.
• Take action. Let the school or the authorities know what is happening. Many law enforcement agencies now have special task groups who investigate incidents of cyber bullying.
• Be particularly vigilant if your child has a developmental disorder. Children with disorders such as ADHD, ODD, and Autism are more likely to be bullied and to be bullies. They tend to act impulsively and don’t always understand the subtleties of social interaction.

And finally, stay computer literate. Learn the language of social media. You can find out a lot at netlingo.com. By learning about social media, you open up the communication lines between yourself and your child, because you have knowledge of social media in common. A parent who knows social media is one of the best defenses against cyber bullying.

Image Credit: Alexis Tejeda - http://www.flickr.com/photos/alexonrails/5701764082